News Item: Apple announced Tuesday that the music of The Beatles will now be available from Apple’s on-line iTunes Store.
Yesterday I happened to hear the Beatles’ 1966 recording of “Paperback Writer”. Now I can’t get the tune out of my head.
I’ve always liked the song, but I can’t really identify with the aspirations of a paperback writer.
So I think it’s high time someone wrote a song about spec writers.
Proving beyond the shadow of a doubt that I’m better at prose than poetry, here’s my attempt. My apologies to songwriters and poets everywhere. (Sing to the tune of the Beatles’ “Paperback Writer”).
I’m a spec writer (I’m a spec writer)
Dear Sir or Madam, will you bid my book?
It took me weeks to write, will you take a look?
It’s based on MasterFormat, so don’t treat me like a doormat.
And I need a bid, cuz I’m a spec writer.
I’m a spec writer.
It’s the sad story of an under funded job.
And an indecisive owner that’s in too big a hurry.
Of addenda thus we’ll have a flurry.
But don’t you worry.
I’m a spec writer.
I’m a spec writer (I’m a spec writer)
It’s a thousand pages, and of volumes two.
I’ll be writing an addendum in a week or two.
I can make it longer, do you want to go to trial.
I can change the font from Courier to Arial.
I’m a spec writer.
I’m a spec writer (I’m a spec writer)
If you like my book you can give me a bid.
I’ll assume that read it thoroughly you did.
You realize it’s LEED.
So don’t underbid, I plead.
I’m a spec writer.
I’m a spec writer (I’m a spec writer)
For architects and engineers I have to be clairvoyant.
To the contractor I’m just an annoyance.
Soon the bids are due.
Only after that you sue.
I’m a spec writer.
I’m a spec writer (I’m a spec writer)
This book is all about the Work.
And written by a team of dorks.
Just don’t ask me for a change order.
Cuz I really said it right, sorta.
I’m a spec writer.
I’m a spec writer (I’m a spec writer).
Don’t dare front-load the job.
Or extra retainage I’ll lob.
Meet all requirements at closeout.
Or the quality of Work I’ll doubt.
I’m a spec writer.