NO, NO, NO!

On TV recently, I saw a short video clip of the late Senator Ted Stevens’ famous “NO” speech  It reminded me that sometimes architects have to say no to contractors. 

I know this is going to sound as though I’m biased against contractors, but I’m really not.  I cheerfully acknowledge that 99 and 44/100 percent of the time, construction contractors do the right thing.  Sometimes even when it’s not what I specify.

Still, sometimes we just have to say no.

So, taking my cue from another famous naysayer, Amy Winehouse, I have composed this little ditty. 

Sing to the tune of Amy Winehouse’s great rendition of “Rehab” (Subtitled “They wanted me to go to rehab, but I said no, no, no”).  See one of many versions of this song here.

You tried to make me say OK, but I said ‘no, no, no’

Yes the spec is right and when I fight you’ll know, know, know

I ain’t got the time and the Owner thinks I’m fine

You tried to make me say OK, but I said ‘no, no, no’

            I’d rather be at work on the next job

            I ain’t got any fee left

            I have to listen to you bidders sob

            That my spec ain’t deft

            Don’t you bury me in RFI’s

            Just trying to get a rise

You tried to make me say OK, but I said ‘no, no, no’

Yes the spec is right and when I fight you’ll know, know, know

I ain’t got the time and the Owner thinks I’m fine

You tried to make me say OK, but I said ‘no, no, no’

            How many more substitutions

            Are you gonna ask for?

            I specified eleven paints

And you want me to approve one more?

           

You tried to make me say OK, but I said ‘no, no, no’

Yes the spec is right and when I fight you’ll know, know, know

I ain’t got the time and the Owner thinks I’m fine

You tried to make me say OK, but I said ‘no, no, no’

            You’re billing 70 percent of the drywall

            But the studs aren’t even up.

            You forget some waivers of lien

            Still you want us to pay up

            It’s not just the money

            Retainage ain’t funny

You tried to make me say OK, but I said ‘no, no, no’

Yes the spec is right and when I fight you’ll know, know, know

I ain’t got the time and the Owner thinks I’m fine

You tried to make me say OK, but I said ‘no, no, no’

           

            The specs and drawings ain’t contradictory

Or full of conditions unforeseen

            Documents are complimentary

            Better than they’ve ever been

You tried to make me say OK, but I said ‘no, no, no’

Yes the spec is right and when I fight you’ll know, know, know

I ain’t got the time and the Owner thinks I’m fine

You tried to make me say OK, but I said ‘no, no, no’